week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
