singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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