I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
