they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
