Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
