you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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