im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
