Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
is wine microwaveable?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
