My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
