addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
