but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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