She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My penis needs a shock collar
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
