To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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