He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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