Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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