I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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