We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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