did you get engaged???
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You are the jesus of drinking
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
