I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
