i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Randomize
