She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
