I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i think i have two assholes
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
