he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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