i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
