Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
