NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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