If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
