um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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