well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
