i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
