It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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