dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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