so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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