I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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