i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
