At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
