I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
