Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
