I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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