Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
