9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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