This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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