awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
