no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
