It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
