Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think I am morally bankrupt
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
