when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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