i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
