so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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