Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
