i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
