hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
