Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
