oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
well you can't waste a boner
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
