what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
