I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
