Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
