Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
