So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
