got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
