Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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