What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
