She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
