Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
