Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
